all I ever wanted…

about my travelogues, adventures in life, fashion, beauty and the occasional rambling.

Archive for August 2014

Back to work!

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Started work 2 weeks ago on 4 Aug and sent baby T for her first day of infant care on 1 Aug which is a Friday.

Her first day was uneventful, albeit the fact that they actually gave her some other baby’s EBM because there were 2 new babies on that day wtf. Don’t know whether to be happy that she accidentally got an extra bottle of breastmilk or freak out. Anyway, the teacher said that she didn’t fuss while drinking which is expected because she is ok with BM or formula, and even the oral Rotavirus vaccine hahaha.

And on Monday when we brought her back, she was so tired that she actually slept through the night (usually she still has to wake up for 1 night feed). She also started coughing and it soon developed into a phlegmy cough along with a runny nose that we brought her to the PD on Wednesday. After bringing her to the PD, she started pooping even more often (after every feed) zzz. I think this is the first time I have seen her being so listless so we decided to keep her home on Thursday since T was around and my mom could come over in the afternoon to help. Even then, she slept a lot and even fell asleep by herself while T took his morning shower. Friday I worked from home and thankfully we had a long weekend since Saturday is National Day so she rested for 5 days at home.

By then, she has slowly recovered so we sent her back on Tuesday. Actually is because we had no choice since both of us had to work. And Thursday morning T flew off (morning flight at 7am!) so I had to handle baby T all by myself for 2 nights. Thank God it is a very short trip this time round! T opt for ungodly hours just so he could minimize the time away from home J He is super worried because I always have a ton of things to carry, i.e. my bag, pump, baby T’s school bag and of course the baby who is already a hefty 7.3kg! He even casually mentioned to my mom that he is worried that I wouldn’t be able to cope after I reached home from work but he said that my mom’s reaction is that I should be fine. To that, I felt disappointed but I should have expected it I guess. Even though she kept saying that she is willing to help but talk is cheap. I told her that I am looking for a new house and she told me that I should move closer to her so that it will be easier for her to come over if I need the help, but come on, how often will she be willing to come over?

So, on Thursday morning, I was all ready for a battle but surprisingly, baby T slept after I nursed her during the morning so I breezed through my morning chores. At night she was not too grumpy, and I even managed to sneak a quick shower before starting her bedtime routine! *fist pump* She refused to drink from the bottle that night though so I nursed her.

On Friday, it wasn’t as easy as Thursday because she woke up around 6plus but still manageable while I whizzed around the house trying to get stuff done. It was Friday evening that I was most amazed by myself. Because it was the weekend, I had to bring baby T’s bedding stuff on top of her regular clothes and whatnot from the centre to wash. And so I carried her, my pump, her stuff, and my bag up in one go! The most difficult part was locking the car and opening the door but I DID IT. For a moment I did feel like my back was going to break though haha.

But I am glad to have survived.

Everyone is always asking me why my mom is not willing to take care of baby T, especially since she is the FIRST grandchild in the family. I really do not know what to say, make up some feeble excuse or tell the truth? The truth is that she rather have her freedom! Who cares about baby T potentially exposed to a lot of germs and very possibly HFMD? Who cares about me having to spend a ridiculous amount on infant care? True, she did come over a few times during my maternity leave in the afternoon when T is traveling (and that is only after telling my auntie that I had intended on getting part time help and my auntie said that my mom should come over so I can save that money for baby T’s other expenses). But everytime I ask her for help, she always guilt trip me and I know that this will come back and haunt me one day too. She says that she doesn’t show favoritism. She said that she spent the most time on me during my childhood to make me feel more loved (only after learning from my friend that I repeatedly told everyone in school that I hate my mom). And she kept saying that I am her daughter and she is willing to do anything for me and I should understand since I have baby T now.

Right and? All these are just talk. And she asks why I keep holding onto old grudges, then proceeds to complain to everyone about what an unfeeling daughter I am for not calling her to show concern.

Ugh. I can’t even. Gonna end this post right here.

Written by whitepaperroses

August 17, 2014 at 4:50 PM

Posted in Parenthood, ranting