all I ever wanted…

about my travelogues, adventures in life, fashion, beauty and the occasional rambling.

Archive for the ‘musings’ Category

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Many things that I want to blog about but I don’t have the motivation to do so! Life is a routine now, but a happy one. Getting to spend time with the little one, and watching her grow and learn things is one of the greatest joys I have ever experienced.

I was just saying to T the other day that I used to think that I won’t be the parent who sit in the backseat just to accompany their kid, they should learn to be independent. Now I love sitting in the backseat with her, just to be close and spend more time together hahaha. T shared that he imagined himself to be a loving daddy who will play with his kid every night after work. Now that it is really EVERY night, it hits him how tiring it gets when you never get a break, and it’s on top of all the things you have to do as a parent (read: feed, shower and a whole lot of other chores).

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Both of us laughed ourselves silly over how naïve we used to be. Oh well, not that we are regretting this parenthood journey!

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October 26, 2015 at 4:14 PM

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The other day I was just reflecting on my life journey, on what I have and have not accomplished so far since I am in this new chapter right now.

 

Here’s a summary of the key milestones in my life.

19 years old – my first full time job.

23 years old – graduated from my degree

24 years old – got married

25 years old – got pregnant

26 years old – had a baby

Looking at this makes me feel like I am on fast track in life because it seems like there is something major happening every year since 23! Wonder if that’s good or bad. To be honest, there will be something major happening for the next 3 years as well but not gonna share for now since it hasn’t happened yet! :p

These days I keep thinking that I should have traveled more before I got pregnant but then again, I have already traveled a lot for someone my age. So how much more is more? I have so many places that I want to go to!

For reference sake, this is the top 5 that I really want to go to, not in any order of preference.

1) New Zealand for its beautiful scenery

2) Italy for its architecture and gelato and bags of course 😉

3) Scandinavia for the Northern Lights

4) Africa for its safaris

5) Somewhere with a beautiful beach, like Bora Bora, Fiji, or Mauritius

Probably will try to fulfill one next year end. So looking forward to it already whoohoo!

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July 7, 2014 at 8:39 AM

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Living the life

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These days I am at home mostly since I have a baby to take care of. So I am on social media a lot even more often to feel like I am still connected to the outside world.

That is the positive side of social media.

The negative thing is, it has lead me to a serious case of envy when I see friends my age enjoying their weekend brunches, weekday dinners, travels and whatnot. While I am stuck at home ALL DAY.

I thought to myself, wow (s)he is really living the life now!

Then I questioned myself, what does living the life really mean? Is travelling all over the world/spending extravagantly the only way(s)? I reflected upon myself and it occurred to me that I would have thought myself to be living the life too in my current circumstances. I mean, starting a family at 26 has always been ideal because I don’t want to have too much of an age gap and to be honest, I don’t think I will have the energy to keep up with the kids if I have them late in my life.

I really should take a step back and count my blessings more often instead of always looking over to the grass on the other side.

Hope you do and happy weekend!

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May 31, 2014 at 10:56 AM

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The Casual Vacancy

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Reading ‘The Casual Vacancy’ recently and this excerpt really got me thinking.

‘Howard carried the mental image of the Fields with him always, like a memory of a nightmare: boarded windows daubed with obscenities; smoking teenagers loitering in the perennially defaced bus shelters; satellite dishes everywhere, turned to the skies like the denuded ovules of grim metal flowers. He often asked rhetorically why they could not have organized and made the place over – what was stopping the residents from pooling their meagre resources and buying a lawnmower between the lot of them? But it never happened: the Fields waited for the councils, District and Parish, to clean, to repair, to maintain; to give and give and give again. 

Howard would then recall the Hope Street of his boyhood, with its tiny back gardens, each hardly more than tablecloth-sized squares of earth, but most, including his mother’s, bristling with runner beans and potatoes. There was nothing, as far as Howard could see, to stop the Fielders growing fresh vegetables; nothing to stop them disciplining their sinister, hooded, spray-painting offspring; nothing to stop them pulling themselves together as a community and tackling the dirt and the shabbiness; nothing to stop them cleaning themselves up and taking jobs; nothing at all. So Howard was forced to draw the conclusion that they were choosing, of their own free will, to live the way they lived, and that the estate’s air of slightly threatening degradation was nothing more than a physical manifestation of ignorance and indolence.’

At first when I read it, I was like who is Howard to think of people he don’t understand that way? But I realised that this is me too! There’s been countless times when I judge too quickly, jump to conclusions when I knew nuts about a particular situation and tell myself XXX must be because of YYY.

This is definitely not a reflection post, of how flawed my character is. I simply am just amazed by how this character is similar to me in the way I think, and it got me wondering why I have such a mindset. One reason I could come up with is because coming to a conclusion about a situation/person gives me ‘closure’, however inappropriate this word may be for this situation, but it just stops me from obsessing over trying to find a reason for everything. Being on the fence about everything all the time must be such a pain in the butt, literally 😉

Maybe one day I should really try to examine this flaw of mine, and be more open-minded. But tonight, tonight I am just going to marvel about the first time I am able to identify so deeply with a book character.

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March 7, 2014 at 9:39 PM

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Some afternoon reading…

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This afternoon, I sat at Coogee Beach and read ‘The Case for Faith’ by Lee Strobel.

It is a book on loan and I only got past a few dozen pages previously before getting distracted by other stuff. Picked it up again because I always bring a book during a trip and this time round I actually got around to reading.

Here’s a passage that really stood out for me.

Geisler’s voice softened but kept its intensity. ‘At the midnight of human ignorance, there are a lot of lights in the sky. Noontime, there’s only one. And that’s Jesus Christ, the light of the world. Based on the evidence for who he was, there really aren’t any competitors.

“So I cast my lot with him – not the one who claimed wisdom, Confucius; or the one who claimed to be a prophet, Muhammad, but with the one who claimed to be God in human flesh. The one who declared, ‘Before Abraham was born, I am – and proved it.”

There are still many questions that I have left unanswered, but I will not reject God until I have got everything sorted out. Why should I, when the answers I have currently gotten all points towards Him?

May God touch your heart one day, as He did with mine and you will begin to understand how great His love is. Bless you!

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March 25, 2013 at 9:14 PM

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what I’ve been wearing…(15)

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Was transferring the photos from my recent trips and realised that I never got around to uploading these outfits! These are from a few months back, since then, I have been trying to purge some of my clothes and the first 2 dresses posted here have been passed on to my sister and mom.

1) Dress from Swivelle (a long time ago)

2) Dress from Runwaydiva (a blogshop that is not in business anymore, pity because I do like their clothes!)

 

3) Top from Megagamie, pants from Iora

 

4) Top from Love, Bonito, Nautical Bow Cardigan from Thevelvetdolls, bandage skirt from BKK

I am selling this cardigan for $12 (ships only to Singapore, sorry)! Email me at whitepaperroses@gmail.com if interested. Other goodies up for grabs can be found HERE. Please support ❤

And ta-da, my favorite outfit for this post:

 

5) Pullover from H&M, skirt from Love, Bonito

Look at the pretty detailing! The color is a major plus point too ^^

 

Having my own style is proving to be more difficult that I thought it would be. I think I am doing better now, at identifying pieces that I will wear over and over again but there are still times when I give in to impulse and buy a piece that looks SO good on the model.

Give me more time, I will find my way. One of the most important lessons I have found out this year is that I can’t do everything in one shot and some things, just tend to take more time than others. Like how after 3 months I am still trying to organize my makeup and clothes in the new house, but instead of fretting and feeling distressed over it every moment, I enjoy the time I put into it. Because, this is life. Xx

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November 8, 2012 at 10:35 AM

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Britney Spears – Baby One More Time

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Wrote this last week but forgot to post it. Very random, sometimes incoherent, definitely raw.

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I’m not a person who spends a lot of time missing the past but today I find myself reminiscing quite a lot after listening to Britney Spears’ Baby One More Time.

It returned me to my primary school days because this song was super popular when I was in primary 6. Suddenly I feel old, so much has happened since I was a kid! The events all crowd around in my mind, and I just sat there reliving it all. Buying my 50cents fishball noodles, having my allowances cut because I spent too much money in the bookstore fml, getting lost walking home from school because I refuse to take the school bus and thought I was going to get kidnapped double fml…now maybe you can understand why I don’t like to think about the past because somehow the events that stuck in my head aren’t really pleasant memories. In fact, I don’t really have many good memories when I was a kid except maybe my swimming lessons. But that was only because I love swimming and not because I was the popular kid. I was the awkward kid.

Only after growing up, I fought harder for what I want, determined not to be that kid anymore. I learnt to speak up, to get noticed, and not to give in any sort of bullying. I try hard to stand up for what is right, I stumble along the way…I don’t dwell on the unhappy things, I find it difficult to feel compassion and to be helpful, I feel disconnected from the world sometimes. I feel lost all the time.

Some days…days like this, make me realise how far I’ve come, how long I still have to go…It makes me ponder on the purpose of life, it makes me emotional, it makes me want to just get out of Singapore and live a different life altogether else well. What would it be like if I was living in a small town somewhere in the UK?

But at the end, on such days, I can only shake myself out of the day dreams, stop myself from living in my head and continue to work hard to be the person I want to be and live a life I don’t regret.

Xx, Ashlyne

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August 24, 2012 at 11:04 AM

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