all I ever wanted…

about my travelogues, adventures in life, fashion, beauty and the occasional rambling.

Archive for the ‘reflections’ Category


leave a comment »

No, this is not going to be a long-assed post reviewing my year in 2013 and setting unachievable goals in 2014. BUT I still want to write something, haven’t done that for a long time anyway.

The only thing I want to remain myself for 2014 is to stay positive! It is going to be difficult with so many changes in personal life and work and my increasingly negative outlook in life but I am going to TRY.

Also, I tried being very giving in 2013 and did enjoy it most of the time. But towards the end of the year, I got more and more unhappy with my family because I felt like I was the only one giving all the time. Anyway, they can’t say that I am stingy because that’s what they taught me along with twisted logics like how paying money to a nanny to take care of me and only bringing me back on Sat night is the act of noble parents.

Yes I am starting off 2014 angry, and I don’t even know if it will subside by the end of the year. Maybe I will get distracted, maybe not. They always say once you have your own kids, you will finally understand your parents’ pain in bringing you up but all I feel is anger and disappointment that I have shut off over the teenage years due to my focus on getting a better life. Or maybe it’s because I have bee sober now for 6 months.

Perhaps this is why they always say don’t bottle your feelings.

Whatever it is, I have to really get myself to stay focused again on the new goals T and I have set for our family in this roller-coaster year and stay positive!


Written by whitepaperroses

January 2, 2014 at 11:38 PM

Posted in ranting, reflections

to where the grass is greener.

leave a comment »

I’ve been waiting for this day for so long, dreaming, lusting, and so on. finally it’s here. surprisingly, I don’t feel the surge of happiness I thought I would feel. instead, I feel kind of outside the situation, somehow, like it’s not happening to me. Guess this is another situation where my mind just blocks sudden changes and refuse to let me feel anything.

I guess I might learn to cherish once I start on the pile of unread books & magazines bought over the past year, stick to a gym routine, and try the recipes I had my eye on.

For now, I’m celebrating with a bottle of red wine since everyone is envying the fact that I can just quit. You know, it’s not that difficult typing the letter. People just have to stop and chase after what they want. Life is short. Give thanks, love, and live as though tomorrow might never come. xo.

Written by whitepaperroses

July 21, 2011 at 2:24 PM

Posted in musings, reflections

happy Easter!

leave a comment »

I can’t believe that I abandon my blog for so long again! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ


I got back from Tokyo (that seems ages ago), flew to Chicago beginning of April, ate a lot, had a lot of emotional ups & downs (not relationship), spent too much $$, trying to find ideas on how to design the house etc etc.

I’m gonna try to blog about my Tokyo and Chicago trip as soon as I can I suppose T__T

But I shall leave you guys with a favorite photo of myself for now =p

in front of Lake Michigan ๐Ÿ™‚

Written by whitepaperroses

April 24, 2011 at 3:24 PM

Musings #459

leave a comment »

Age is a funny thing, it creeps up on you and is there to stay.

Seems only yesterday when I was the one whoโ€™s preparing for my first day of school, the one who just got her first job, the one whom everyone went โ€œWOW SO YOUNG!โ€ when I said my age.

Now times have changed, and roles are reversed.


Do I want to go back and change anything? Yes, there are a few stands that I wished I had stuck to, wished I had been more hardworking.

Do I regret anything in the past? Definitely, everyone have some regrets but I try to minimize them.

Do I want to be young again? No, because I would not have the experience that I have now.


I believe in learning from history, not living in the past.

I believe in working hard for the future, but not forgetting to live in the moment.

I believe in cherishing everything that I have now, instead of being too focused on my goals and neglecting family and friends.


In 2011, I will be turning 23. Iโ€™ve a list of things I want to accomplish, and I hope I will not disappoint myself. Other than that, itโ€™s also time to make some travel plans.

1) Chicago, US โ€“ mad love US shopping. Hope it will come soon, maybe in March? ๐Ÿ™‚

2) Tokyo, Japan โ€“ still got a few places that I didnโ€™t manage to visit the previous round. And I absolutely miss the tempura & sashimi there!

3) Amsterdam, Netherlands โ€“ T is making plans to go there IN OCT so I am hoping I will be able to tag along >.< it will be considered as grad trip + birthday trip!

4) Bangkok, Thailand โ€“ must go there and do more shoppppppppinggggggg. The fishballs there rocks my socks.

5) Some beach resort. Have not decided on where yet but we will sometime soon.

For now, I shall work hard and save more money! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Written by whitepaperroses

January 4, 2011 at 2:23 AM

Posted in musings, reflections, travel-diction

Tagged with